Estimated reading time - 2 minutes. 

After conversation, the next practical item is deliberation.  By deliberation I mean laying out your chain of reasoning for your child (which is really laying out your heart). In the case of Holy Hours this means explaining what moved you to decide to go. In the case of homeschooling the reluctant teen it means explaining why this is the best means of education.

In my experience there are two ways to communicate decisions. You can either give the conclusion of your deliberation on the subject at hand, or you can give the conclusion of your deliberation along with the deliberation itself.  

This seems to me to be a key in achieving cooperation from a resistant teen. Explain to him what has moved you to homeschool in the first place. Recall the conversations you had, the people you met, the excellence in education you wanted for your children that moved you to homeschool in the first place. Then say those things to your teen.

I think that to have such conversations take place in a one-on-one situation is a factor in their effectiveness. There is a natural inclination, when you are talking with only one other person, to agree with that person. Keep that in mind and make time for such conversations. Take that child alone with you to Holy Hour, and talk on the way, or take that child to do the grocery shopping. Notice when this child is most chatty, and make a point of taking advantage of those situations. In my experience that is almost always before bed, that is before your bedtime, and in the car.

Now, in order to convince your teen that this is the best form of education, that the best way to achieve it is to work at it, and that this can be done, you have to have that conviction yourself. You have to have confidence in homeschooling, or your teen won’t. That is true about any area of disagreement. Be convicted, and you will find that your conviction is persuasive. If you are not convicted, go back to your original reasons for homeschooling, or whatever the source of contention is. Think about them and pray about them. I find that many of the moms I work with in MODG who are having trouble with a resistant teen are having doubts themselves about homeschooling. Children always pick up on doubt and they don’t like it. Children like limits, and they will push until they find them.

Continued in Part Three: Habituation. Help form habits that make good decisions easier!