Originally Published in 2005*

Who do you think of when of someone who is holy? Many of us might think of Pope John Paul II or Mother Theresa, and they certainly were holy. Pope John Paul II was the essence of holiness as he struggled to speak the words of consecration or lift his arm to give someone the gift of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. He certainly did everything for the love of God.

The same could be said for Mother Theresa. She saw God’s face in the poor, the dirty, the smelly, the helpless, and the sick. She is the one
who told us, “I can do no great things, only small things with great love”, and she did all of these small things because of her great love for God.

Now I want to ask you again to think of someone who is holy, but I want you to limit your choices to those who are in this room, even sitting in your chair. Think of the holiness of the person whose face you saw in the mirror this morning. When reflecting on my own holiness, or lack thereof, I often think about how easy it would be to be holy if I had all day to pray, or if I lived a cloistered life without the distractions of the world, but the fact is that’s not what I am called to do. And neither are you. Our vocations are to be home school moms to our children and supportive wives to our husbands.

A priest once asked a group of altar servers what the hardest vocation is. His answer: The one you are called to. Satan does not want our vocation to be easy. He wants us to be overwhelmed, tired, too busy to pray, and too busy to see God in our children. I have been (and, at times, continue to be) that kind of wife and mother and, if I were a betting woman, I would venture a bet that each of you have been, too, more often than any of us would like to admit.

It was around one Christmas time, that I was feeling particularly overwhelmed. I had five in school, with one younger, and I thought I really needed the Christmas break to relax. However, God had other plans. My oldest daughter needed knee surgery that required round the clock care, which made even more demands on my already overwhelmed being.

About that time, I ran across a book called A Mother’s Rule of Life. The cover promised the book would teach me how to bring order to my home and peace to my soul. It promised to give me the tools I needed to transform motherhood and its burdens into the joyful vocation it’s meant to be. It sounded like a tall order, but my desire for this peace was great, so I started reading the book. To be honest, there was nothing in the book that was new to me. The difference was the way in which it was presented. It did transform me on the inside, and I began to see God in my children and my husband, and not just when they were being good and easy to love, but also when they didn’t want to do their schoolwork, or when one of them found it necessary to hit his brother.

Today, I would like to share some of the things I was able to see in a new light, so that hopefully you will be able to see God in your vocation, too. 

The bottom line is that we need to do everything that we do for the love of God, and that means everything. The book helped me to see that it wasn’t enough to simply consecrate my day to God, first thing, by praying the morning offering. I had to actively consecrate each action that I undertook throughout the day to God. When I worked the algebra problem with my son—again!—I said a quick prayer like, “I do this for you, O God.” When I ate peanut butter and jelly—again!—I said, “I do this for you, O God.” I quickly found that by doing this I became much happier with the momentous, and sometimes tedious, duties of my day because I was truly recognizing that I was doing it for the love of God. And you know, no act for love of God goes unnoticed. I truly believe He out gave me in generosity, and showered many graces upon my efforts, however flawed they were.

This desire to do God’s will, and be a good example to my children led me to another desire: to assist Him at daily Mass. Daily Mass
was a part of my life until we began home schooling when I decided I couldn’t possibly get all the school done if I took the time out to go to daily Mass. Suddenly, after many years without daily Mass, I began rethinking my decision. I knew my desire was there, but I still couldn’t figure out how we could find the time to actually do it.

In another part of the book there was a chapter about making schedules, saying that sticking to a schedule would help you
find more time in your day, but I wasn’t so sure. I had read Managers of the Home, and my husband had told me for years that I
needed to schedule my time, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had all kinds of excuses. It was too restrictive. It would never work (what about the days when the kids woke up vomiting, or the dog ran off, or we had a flat tire)?

What I realized as I prayed my way through The Mother’s Rule of Life, was that I could have a schedule, but I had to realize that it was a goal and probably a goal that wouldn’t be reached often. However, I still needed a goal. So now, as I was offering all the little things throughout the day to God as an act of love to Him, and feeling a strong desire to receive Him in the Eucharist on a daily basis, I decided I needed to set up a schedule, but it needed to be flexible. I decided to start around 7:00 a.m. on normal days. However, most days aren’t normal so, many times I get up much earlier. When my job as a consultant for Mother of Divine Grace School required me to enter back data in the database, I got up at 5:30 a.m. each morning so I could enter data before the kids woke up. The 7:00 a.m. start time is the latest start time, and I begin earlier as the need arises.

On the schedule we rotate who prepares lunch. We also rotate the responsibility of keeping the 2 year old happy while I work with each of my students. I made big chunks of time for my “to do” list. I use a calendar with pages for notes. I put our activities on the left, and the tasks I need to complete that week on the right. This ensures that I look at both lists each day.

The greatest thing I learned (or relearned) from the book was to see God in my children and offer each task in love for Him.

This in and of itself brought me tremendous peace as He gave me more patience when I offered the task to Him. The next greatest
thing I learned from the book wasn’t actually printed in the book, but it was inspired after reading the book with a sincere a prayerful
heart. I think God showered His mercy upon me and allowed me to come up with a household routine that really works. Now, you need to understand that I have been doing the parenting thing for 22 years; I thought I had tried everything. But, when it came to house jobs, nothing worked well. The kids knew what needed to be done, and what their responsibility was, but it took them forever to actually accomplish them. After a while I tired of patiently telling them to get moving, or what still needed to be done, and I started screaming it at them. It wasn’t pretty. We all hated chores, and just the thought of it zapped any peace that was reigning in our home. Now, they go much smoother and much more peacefully (usually!). We haven’t changed what each child does for chores, only the method in which they are done.

When it’s time for chores I note the time, and tell each child that they have 1 hour to complete their jobs. They take their list of chores and begin working with no grumbling allowed. At the end of the hour (or sooner if they finish early) I check their job. If there are still things that need to be done, I patiently tell them what they are and give them an extra 30 minutes. At the end of the hour
and a half, if they haven’t finished their jobs to satisfaction, then the job gets sold to someone else, and the child who didn’t complete the job correctly is required to pay his or her brother or sister out of his or her own allowance. Another twist is that only the ones who have completed their jobs to satisfaction have the opportunity to take on the extra work and earn the extra money.

We do our chores on Wednesday, and it just so happens that we stop at 7-Eleven on Thursday after Mass. If they have received an allowance, then they get to buy a Slurpee. If they haven’t, they get to watch those who did enjoy their Slurpee while they’re doing their school work.

In addition to the weekly chores, we also have something called “5:30 p.m. pick-up”. My husband usually arrives home between 6:00 and
6:30 p.m.. Therefore, at 5:30 p.m. each child is responsible for cleaning an area of the house. With this system in place my husband gets
to come home to a mostly tidy house, and then has time to play basketball or chess after the dinner dishes are finished. At about the same time that we started our chore routine, we also started giving a “clean room award”. Basically, I would check rooms in the morning, right before we left for Mass, and would give the award to the person, or persons, with the best room. Because my boys are pretty competitive, they soon began going above and beyond with the hope of being the only one to get the award. The Old English is now an inch thick on the dressers, and the Lego Masterpieces setting neatly on their dresser are now dust free. One child even cleaned the tracks for his sliding closet door, hoping to edge out his brother. At the end of the month the one who has won the award the most gets a
prize, and I like nothing better than to buy a prize for everyone, because that means we’ve had clean rooms all month.

While the cleanliness of our home is a great blessing, it is the not the best thing we have found with our new system. The best thing is in our attitudes. A good attitude makes all the difference. Mother Teresa showed us how to live a holy life when she performed works of mercy as she fed the hungry, clothed the naked, visited the sick and sheltered the homeless. We, too, are called to offer these works of mercy in love to God, but we are called to do it in our own home, for our own children and husband. Like Mother Teresa, we can truly say, “I can do no great things; only small things with great love.”